The First of Many Goodbyes.

Last night I helped carry my dear friend's suitcase out to the street. I flagged down a taxi for her, secretly hoping no taxi would ever stop, would ever take her away. But one came. No matter how long you have to wait, one always eventually comes. I opened the door for her and turned around to hug her. I clung with all my might to my friend, so afraid of the moment ending. But it did end. We reluctantly release one another. She got into the taxi. I closed the door and watched it drive off down the street.

This is the first of the many heart wrenching goodbyes that await me in the next four weeks.

I wrote the following post a little over a year ago. As I watched the taxi drive away  last night and I walked slowly back to my apartment, me and my heart tried hard to remember to breathe and tried hard not to grow hard but to let myself feel the weight of the goodbye.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.


My heart wrung in between beats as if gasping for blood as lungs gasp for air when the physical struggles to keep up with the surging emotional. I held my breath afraid for what would escape if I let it out. My eyes pinched shut wishing, hoping, praying that the reality beyond my lids would melt away. Quivering my lips did all they could to contain the sobs that were building in my chest. My mind was a blank though a thousand thoughts rushed at me and blurred my vision. Thoughts of meeting, thoughts of parting, thoughts of the known, thoughts of the unknown, thoughts of love. I held on tight as did they. We embraced with committed arms and abandon reservations. Reluctantly we pulled back. Eye to eye, heart to heart, they spoke. Their words reached down inside of me and made another chip at the heart that is being carved. I felt another onslaught of tears building. Not even half did I let escape though it seemed as if I had joined in on the tropical storm’s display. The moment ended and we released one another. Our eyes shone and our faces wore a slight smile. We said, “Goodbye.”

It’s just the... (view the rest of the post)