21 Things I Want to Know at 21

I’m turning 21 this week.

And in celebration of 21 years of adventures, struggles, triumphs, tears, and smiles, I decided to compile a list of advice to myself for the next 21 years of adventures. It’s a list of 21 things I want to know about myself and life right now. We’ve all had to participate in an activity or at least heard about writing a letter to your older or younger self about things you wish someone would have told you at 16 or what you want your 50 year old self to remember about your 18 year old self. Or we’ve received little cards or a notebook filled with lines of insight and sage advice from people in our lives. Well, I’ve decided to write some advice to myself. This is not a list of resolutions. This is not a To-Do list. This is not a list of what I aspire or hope to be and do. This is simply a list of reminders. It is a list of things I want to have deep down inside of me right here, right now.

 It is a list of 21 things I want myself to know at 21.

1. Don’t be such a control freak. Stress never saved the world.

2. Journal more often.

3. Let yourself be 21 even if you are an “old soul”.

4. Your story is different - stop thinking of it as a challenge. Embrace the uniqueness of your life experiences for the gift, not the burden, that it really is.

5. Turn off your computer more often.

6. Just like mom always said, when this (insert current challenge/struggle here) is over, you’re going to be bigger, better, and stronger.

7. Sometimes call people instead of texting them.

8. Be kinder to the people close to you.

9. Let yourself learn what 21 year olds learn, not what 31 year olds know.

10. Stop caring so much about what other people think of you. You know the truth. And the smart people in your life know the truth too. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Be comfortable that not everyone will think you’re great.

11. Read more books. You love reading. Read more books more often. And finish a book before you start a new one.

12. Go with the flow sometimes (and not just when it relates to the flow charts you’ve prepared ahead of time).

13. You don’t really know very much, and that’s okay. You may think you know yourself well and that you know so much about life because you have a little bit of experience, but, Emily, you still don’t know most stuff most of the time. And that’s okay.

14. You’re ridiculous. Own it. Celebrate it. And don’t apologize for it.

15. Stop comparing yourself to your peers. You do you. You’re good at that.

16. You don’t have to be sarcastic all of the time. Sincerity doesn’t mean you’re weak.

17. Things are not going to work out like how you want them to. But I promise, things are going to work out.

18. Be brave, because you are brave. You’re not that six year old little girl anymore who cried when mom dropped you off at ballet class. You are a young woman who has traveled the world, handled massive amounts of responsibility, lived out her passions and her dreams, and you are bold and brave. Don’t forget that.

19. You’re allergic to cats. So, you don’t even have the option of just becoming a crazy old cat lady if life doesn’t pan out how you thought. So, make sure you take time to invest in relationships, friendships, and the people in your life, because they’ll be there when a cat can’t be.

20. Keep writing. Know that some of the things you write will be really bad. Write anyway. Write because it makes you happy. Write because it’s important to have hobbies. Write because sometimes, on very rare occasions, the things you write will be more powerful than you would have ever thought possible.   

21. You really are a fabulous person. You are competent, funny, and beautiful. You are passionate and you genuinely care for other people. Stop telling yourself that you’re a horrible lost cause, because you’re not. I want to remind you that you are truly fabulous.