Wait, did she just say that we should stop empowering people?

A friend of mine and former boss (and one of my favorite people in general), Rachel Goble, recently posted a blog that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since I read it. Her words and insights struck me for several reasons. One was that she talked about a concept close to my heart: empowerment. I worked for almost 2 years with a project in Asia that sought to empower women. It's an important and valuable cause and message. But another reason was that I have had a thought in the back of my head for some time, one that I was afraid to speak out: What if empowerment isn't enough? What if there's more to it than that?

Whether you work with formerly exploited women like I have or lead a youth group, whether you're raising kids or managing employees at work, I highly recommend you take a moment and read her thoughts. It just may totally transform the way you interact with and view the people in your life.

Let’s Stop Empowering and Start Inspiring

I’ve been using the word ‘empower’ for years. It’s a great word – one that implies giving dignity to others; the whole ‘give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime’ type story comes up when I hear the word empower. It’s even in my organizations mission statement – we seek to empower individuals. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it’s the hot word of today’s non profits. We all want to empower others: the poor, the apathetic, the girl child, the slave, even ourselves! By definition it mean

I graduated with a masters degree in Cross Cultural studies where my focus was on children at risk and international development. I joke that after three years of talking about everything I could possibly do in my life and work (in context of working with the poor) there would be no escaping that I would screw up at some points. We were warned of everything that could go wrong: from the language we use being offensive or not up to date (should ‘at-risk’ come before or after the word child. If it’s put after, then they are first and foremost defined as a child, But if put before, they are defined as being at-risk. Therefore it is politically incorrect to say ‘at-risk child’ but somewhat acceptable to say ‘child at-risk’), to the organizational structure we implemented not having that perfect balance of both empowerment (see, there’s the word again) and accountability. I had a degree in cross cultural work and yet the fear of God put in me that nothing I would do could ever be right (this might be a slight exaggeration but truly, I graduated with a sense of deep humility that development work was not something to be taken lightly).s “to give (someone) the authority or power to do something” or “to make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights”. It’s a great word.

The word ‘empower’ never raised red flags in these years so I used it confidently and frequently.

Until a dear African American friend enlightened me. It had never crossed my mind before that what this word implies is that I have the power and you do not. Click here to read more.

A Happy New Year's Ramble

I spent this New Year’s night like I have spent many nights this past year – in an airport.

I celebrated New Years Eve in a very uncomfortable chair in the Philadelphia airport during a six hour layover. I watched on a muted television CNN’s coverage of Times Square as I ate a pretzel and cup of coffee for dinner. When the clock struck twelve and the new year of 2014 arrived, I was standing at a baggage carousel in the Boston airport waiting for my green backpackers backpack to appear. The airport seemed empty except for my fellow passengers. Someone let out a tamed “Happy New Year” as we all waited around to claim our luggage.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I really couldn’t have ended 2013 and started 2014 in a more fitting way.

The past year has been a constant series of micro-journeys, a collection of various adventures, and a relentless passage into new things. 2013 was a year of moving forward and only bringing with me what I could carry, in the physical sense as well as in the emotional, mental, and spiritual. I’ve had to pack my bags in more ways than one, leave things behind that didn’t fit in my suitcase or weren’t needed on the trip before me. It was a year like many before it, one that was stressful, fun, challenging, painful and good. It was one of getting to travel to new places, dealing with illnesses, meeting new wonderful friends, hugging old wonderful friends goodbye, new cities, old cities, stimulating work, lots of tears and laughter, all the usual stuff. Yet it was unlike any other year I have been to before. It’s a year, that as I sit here now with a tear making its way down my cheek, that makes me want to sigh and say “What on earth happened?”

I’m a little bit stunned to be honest. I cannot sum up in a phrase what 2013 was all about. I cannot articulate all of the lessons and principles I’ve wrestled through. I am overwhelmed. I am overcome with the reality that while Dad never changes, He is always surprising me – in both good and hard ways.

It has been six months now since I moved to America from Asia. Six months and I still am surprised every morning at the incredible water pressure in the shower, at the fact that taxi drivers always understand where I want to go, and at the reality that no one gets what I’m saying when I use the word ‘mafan’. Six months and I still haven’t found a friend that resembles anything like my community in Asia. Six months and my stomach still isn’t used to the food here (TMI?:-). Six months and I still experience a little bit of culture shock at least once a day. Time works wonders for many things, but there are some things it does not heal – some things I hope it never heals.

I usually get all reflective around New Years. I think about the past year and think about the new one ahead. But this time, all I’ve got is, “I made it!”